Sunday, December 23, 2007

Chuck Norris Sues Over Fact Book!?!

Chuck Norris the man I know from Walker Texas Ranger, but many of you may know of him from his many other TV shows, and movies, The Delta Force. Or perhaps his highly commercialized work out machine "The Total Gym" commercial, you may have seem him working out with his wife. This is a true American Celebrity, has been through out the 70s, 80s, and 90s, and now that he is trying to be taken seriously politically by backing Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee, he wishes to be taken seriously. He is suing the creator of the book "The Truth About Chuck Norris: 400 facts about the World's Greatest Human" Now I am not so sure, but What The Hell Is Up His Ass?

If a publisher ever released a book titled I am the World's Greatest Human, no way I would be upset, or ever Sue the creator. That should be taken as a compliment, not as you thinking that people will actually take these facts seriously. EVERYONE knows who you are, you are KICK ASS! YOU ARE a GREAT IDOL of kids, teens, and adults all around the world to strive to want to kick as much as in their lives as you have. And yet you dis-regard your name, and turn into a little winy baby and feel the need to sue these creators of this hysterical book?

Why not do something smart, and team up with the publishers, and help sell the book, for a small share in your pocket of course, after all your name is in the title, you do deserver some of the profits. But after helping them sell, why not get some more Movie Deals, and be the star of some more kick ass movies? Every kid I know highly respects your name, and knows that you are the perfect definition of what every man in America wants to be at some point or another in their lives.

Check out Chuck Norris Facts

There are a couple thousand different Chuck Norris Fact Jokes here, they change every 15 seconds.

As for Chuck Norris I'd say stop bitching and to quote a "fact"
Chuck Fact #688
The Nile flows north because Chuck Norris told it to.

Chuck Fact #1721
Part of the reason Chuck Norris can kick so many people in the face before they block it is because his shadow holds them by the balls.

Chuck Fact #331
Chuck Norris had sex with your mom, and your dad gave him a high five.

Your the man, so stop being a pussy!

Routers - Chuck Norris sues, says his tears no cancer cure

Monday, December 17, 2007

Muttontown Slave Family Convicted

Today the Slave owning family from Muttontown has been convinced of slavery!

Convincted Today!

The million dollar family of wealthy Long Islanders have been convicted today of enslaving two Indonesian women for nearly 5 years. The two culprits are Varsha Sabhnani and Mahender Sabhnani, from what I have heard though Varsha did most of the abuse to these two innocent women. They found them in Indonesia, captured them, and figured no one would no the difference if two people went missing...but guess what, they did, and they are going to get exactly what they deserve, years and years behind bars!

They were thought of as humble perfume moguls with a millionaire company, they had everything they could ever want, why would they subject some one to such slavery, and barbarian tourture? What would make some one have no feelings for a fellow human being? What would make them want to hurt some one for years, no food, no showers, just torturing them.

The reason I am blogging about them is that I went to school with this very wealthy family. They lived on the North Side of town, and I was on the other side of the tracks. But for whatever reason at one point in elementary school I was actually friends with their daughter, I will leave her name out, but I'm sure it is all over the internet already. She was a nice person, but I would never think her family would do something like this.

I was in shock to hear about this because I knew where they came from, and where they lived, and the cars they drove. What would make a millionaire do this to another human being? The answer is that they must be really sick in the head to think that this is ok. They must have had a crazy up-raising, or maybe they are just completely so inaptly in touch with any sort of compassion through years of sociological abuse from America, that they figured no one would really give a shit.

Well they are WRONG! America may not always be the nicest, or coolest, or warmest place to live, but we sure do know that SLAVERY IS WRONG! Slavery was abolished during the Civil War, if they wanted slave they missed it by about 300 years. Abraham Lincoln stopped slavery, and freed all the slaves so that they can be equal citizens in this great land of ours, where we deem all people with RIGHTS, and RESPONSIBILITIES to treat others civilly.

Clearly these people did not pay attention during history, and are clearly insane and I think they should be locked away forever, before they flee the country, since they are Millionaire's. That I think is the next move for the Sabhnani family, time to go back to Indonesia, or wherever they are from.

Stupid, stupid, stupid, rich people...

Thursday, December 13, 2007

First snow in New York, Long Island

What a beautiful winter day the leaves have all but fallen and Jack
Frost has shown his ice cold grin. Smiling down upon us he sprinkles us
with tiny white snow particles glistening in the sky as they slowly
drift down to earth. Covering us with a white blanket of slush.
Sent from Long Island, New York

Sunday, December 9, 2007

Is it kismet?

What are the chances that two wrist watches purchased at unknown times,
years ago would stop at nearly the same day, nearly the same time.
Coincidence? I think not. My girlfriend and my wrist watches both
stopped working this week, is this a message from above trying to tell
me that we are meant to be together forever? Or that our time is up? Or
have the galaxies and stars all come in perfect alighnment and
everything is working according to the master plan? I suppose time will
tell...wonder what the future holds for life and the loved ones
surrounding me.
Sent from the stopped wrist watches

Thursday, December 6, 2007

Witches Brew Take 2

Try to go on Monday walking to the place as an employee yells at us
"We're closed on mondays!" thanks, not!

So fail once gotta try, try again:
All I have to say is WOW, try to go out to get a nice cup of coffee and
maybe some desert with some good friends and that doesn't seem to be
possible in todays day and age.

Between the unorganized demonic witch like halloween eerie aura that
filled the coffee shop they call witches brew, and the welcomed company
of good willed friends. We entered the witches brew but we had no idea
what we were getting our selves into.

Enter to two black drapes on each side of the entrance doorway walk
through them to be blinded by red lights glowing eerily through out the
establishment. Walk cautiously to the hostess dressed with a frohawk and
black sweat pants and comfortable clothes. He sits us by the door in a
couch and two arm chair seats with a coffee table as our table, how

We begin by reviewing the selection of items available for purchase on
the menu, and what a wide varied selection of drinks they have. I have
never seen such an assortment of options I was overwhelmed and purplexed
by the sheer number of drinks presented in front of me.

The waiter approached us stating Ready to order? Everyone else was ready
except me I was still trying to read through the drink menu, I asked if
these are alchoholic drinks he responded no, now I am just dumbfounded.
They have atleast 100 different drink options non alchoholic, what a

I say ok Imma just point some where randomly on the menu and get
whatever my finger lands on, pointing, pointing, pointing, and stop! Ok
so it will be a frozen cappuchino latte with whip and a toasted
marshmellow flavor shot, MMMmmm delicios!

The drinks arrive rather quickly, we start to down our delicious
assortment of brownie deserts and icecream. I realize that it would have
been a better idea to get a hot drink considering it is 20 degrees out
and I'm drinking ground ice, so smart of me!

We are all shocked when a black homeless women sits directly out our
window in front of the shop, followed by an angry yelling drunk black
homeless man. Who is yelling profanities at the women who just sits
there and attempts to ignore him, my girl friend is starring at him and
states I love watching people get madd, bet she wouldn't like it if it
was her getting yelled at.

To our even further surprise the homeless man enters witches brew in his
raggedy stained and ripped clothes with his cotton black old hat. He
stares at us and removes his hat and smiles with a toothless grin states
you guys like to make a donation? My friend starts acting as if he is
mentally challenged and starts talking slow and incoherent worse than
the old homeless man. To which upsets the old man who curses out my
friend and walks away in disgust, I suppose he thought he was making fun
of him, when he was acting stupid. The homeless man soon left after
asking money from some other customers and walked into the streets with
his women by his side.

What a world we live in today, I wonder what would make that old
homeless man happy, perhaps being seen as a homeless man is exactly what
makes him happy, what do you think?
Sent from the Witches Brew in New York

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Witches Brew

Me: what should we do tonight babe?
Her: everyone wants to goto witches brew, you ever been there?
Me: no what is it?
Her: its a coffee house with a bunch of freaks I'm sure you'll like it
Me: ok sure...

Everyone comes to my place we bull shit for a little bit and then decide
to take the long haul to witches brew. Dan drives down hempstead
turnpike, keep going the girls say as we drive for what seems to be an

Dan: where the hell is this place?
Them: where almost there keep goin, ok.
Dan: no problem just tell me when
Them: just keep going you'll see it

Drive another 10 minutes and then they say:
Oh shit I think we passed it, did we pass it? Yeah we definently passed
it, turn around dan!
Turn around drive more until we hear, no you passed it again! Turn
Where the hell is this place?
Its right there, pointing up the road to a big Witches sign
Dan passes it one more time for good luck and we turn around and park in
the back.
We all walk up to the main door only to be greeted with "we aren't open
on mondays!"
Fun fun diddly winks ;-)
Sent from my lunch break

Sunday, December 2, 2007

300 Bowling Ally

Friday night what better thing to do then go bowling with some old and
new friends. My old college friend dave visited from NYC in the 5 or 6
years I've been friends with him he had never taken a trip out to LI.
Guess there is a first time for everything right?
So all 10 of us went to the bowling ally. Started off with a shot and
sat down watched some tv with dave. While unknown to me my gfs ex bf is
walking right in front of me. And grills me but I didn't even realize it
was him. Oh well we did not run into him again and just went bowling.
Dave and I are the only ones that actualled bowled and we played 5
dollars a game. So I won 10 dollars thanks dave! After that went back to
my crib drank a little more and passed da fuck out.

Yeah bowling ally fun!
from 300